July.
Halfway through the year.
Funnily enough, I'm stuck in the narrow hollow of decisions, if there's a physical space associated with it. I probably was stuck earlier but I was too preoccuppied to notice. I mean, this life? It's great. Who would not want to stay where they seem to have things going on for them? But eventually, no matter how glittery and pretty things are going, me being stuck won't go unnoticed, unless I purposely do it and then it's just going to be this viscious cycle of ons and offs and then I'll blame myself for not addressing it earlier when I had better chances of making my stand better. But then, isn't that human nature? Or I'm just too quirky for this world lol.
Enough of the vague introductions which I think I failed at doing- preparing you for my dilemma this month, I'm just gonna spill it. I don't want you to think that you're required to help me nor give me a sound advice (but if you want to, please, thank you). You listening rather reading, is enough.
I graduated as a Biology major though I ended up in the education field. I found teaching tiring but very rewarding. My current work is near my house and gives me paid leaves that allows me to go for long vacations if I want to and salary that lets me afford going on a few trips throughout the year, on top of all the bills I have to pay while living here in Japan. So you'd probably ask, what the hell is your problem even?
Quite a lot and tricky, I may say. You see, the scenario above is my current comfort zone. And I feel like I'm stuck here though I know I can just go out of it. But I'm scared to actually go out of it and I don't really know... I've been weighing my options for a couple of times already. I've been talking to other people, especially those older than me just to get their insights. In spite of those, I'm still lost. And scared. I have come to a conclusion (for now) that I have a lot of things on my plate- a lot of things interest me, it's in my nature, but I thought of those being hindrances to knowing what I really want. And maybe, just maybe, letting go some of those would help me. But will I be happy letting those things go even if they make me happy and sane? Quite like a double-edged sword lol. Anyway, for now, I'm thinking of doing these things:
- finally studying Japanese in an actual school (to help with more career choices in the future but how long will it take me to actually know enough to shift careers? )
- delving deeper into education by earning a TESOL or a Master's degree in Education (but then this will narrow my career options into education and related ones)
- diving into a completely different field, like I actually thought of studying International Business Communications offered in one of the schools here in Tokyo
Ahhh this whole career thing is driving me insane which makes me not to want to do anything and just stay right where I am now. But where's the growth in that? I owe this to myself, at least to try, I think.
Well, at some point I need to figure this out, ね? For now, here are some July snippets, minus the heavy dilemma above. And as always, thanks to the people around me who help me with serious thingamajigs and also help me breathe when things get too tight. I appreciate you all.♡
Tanabata Festival at work~
Bar Zingaro aka Takashi Murakami's bar/cafe in Nakano
Cafe-hopping and catch-up with Kaila
Visited the beau and I's favorite Korean chicken place, Shinchan and did some roaming around K-town.
Washi Tape Museum with stationery lover friends! We had so much fun shopping around for tapes and stickers that we were the last customers to leave- the store shutters were already closed so we had to wait for the store staff to open it lol! 楽しかったです〜
Friday on a Monday with these girls from work. I love how we roll- from venting out stressful things to purikura real quick haha!
Anyway, half of the year already passed by. Let's hope for more happiness and blessings to come our way but let's not forget that we can make our happiness and work for more blessings, too! *wink*
xx,
Alyssa
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