Finally

Yesterday, I visited the campus to return a couple of manuscripts my prof lent me for our Physio special problem and to get my class cards as well. I already knew I passed the three subjects I needed for me to graduate but seeing it with my own eyes is another story. All the hardships I have experienced the past semester, as well as those happy ones, and the people who were with me throughout my roller coaster ride  flashed back; it's as if they're alive in my head. 

So, allow me to thank each one of you for everything you have done for me. Keep in mind that I am forever indebted and grateful to you all.

To our Father Almighty, thank You for the gift of wisdom, for the people who You let me rub elbows with, for all the blessings I have received and the difficulties alike.

To my family, for the trust that I can finish what I started, for the never-ending support and love. I wouldn't have come this far if not for you. Thank you Pa, for challenging me enough. Thank you, Ma, for being the mother every child would be grateful to have. To Tita Nalu, for being my second mother and for attending to my needs, isang text o tawag lang. To my grandparents, who would always be happy to see me home. To my one and only brother, for the late night chats at sa pang-iinis mo sa'kin haha. This is for all of you.

To my super blocmates, thank you! ABBCD (Bea, Bessie=Prince, Claire, Danica), thank you for giving me so many escapes whenever sukang suka na ko sa acads! Sa maraming chill moni sessions, heart-to-heart talks, random pig-outs, movie and videoke trips. Ang sayaaaa. More to cooome!

Clingy friends, Nina and Yen. Thank you for being my rant reservoir haha! Pati sa pagsama nung bitaw phase ng buhay ko. Mamimiss ko yung random dinners and trips and everything in between. Good love will find us. Tiwala laaang.

Londormers, lalo na sa mga luka kong roommates, Cherry, Ezra and Ivory, thank you sa pagtitiyaga niyo sa'kin! Sa lahat ng kwento, sa pagsabay kumain, sa pagiging human alarm clocks ko. Haha. Mamimiss ko ang kaingayan at kalukahan natin sa  green room.

UP Cells lineage, Ninong Jordan, Ninang Kim, Inaanaks Bryan and Buley. Thank you sa family dinners at usapang buhay. Ang saya kasi ang close natin kahit ilang milya ang agwat. I wouldn't want any other sponsors and inaanaks bukod sa inyo. Chos! At sana bago ko magpuntang Japan may complete lineage pic na tayo!

My closest Cells friends, thank you for entrusting your thoughts with me. Everytime maalala ko yung pinagdaanan natin, natatawa na lang ako. The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all, indeed.

Dr. Dee Maligalig, my major adviser, thank you po sa support at sa lahat ng tulong, acad-related man o hindi. Sa pag-push na ayusin yung mga gawa namin lalo na nung Physio SP days.

Prof. Ruperta Asuncion, nasaan man kayo ngayon, thank you po sa life lessons, kahit na sobrang nabuwang ako kakahanap ng 60 published sources at pagsulat ng 150 notecards for my Eng2 library research paper tungkol sa tattoo. Prof. Vincent Hilomen, thank you po sa pag-inspire sa'kin maging Zoology major. Di ko po makakalimutan nung sinabihan niyo ko na mag- Fine Arts nung nakita niyo yung drawings ko ng rotifer at starfish sa Zoo3 manual. Prof. Grace Banaay, nag-enjoy po ako mag-SA sa inyo. Thank you po sa pagiging patient sa'kin pati po sa pagpapataba niyo sa'kin sa Eco Lab, ang sasarap po ng pagkain! Haha! Thank you sa lahat ng profs at instructors, andami ko pong puyat natutunan chos haha!

Clingy Physio groupmates, yey we survived Physio! Salamat sa pagreply sa GMs ko, for actively doing your parts sa exercises at SP. Mamimiss ko yung kain trip natin tuwing pagkatapos ng lab, mga puyat nights and all. 

Bio 120 labmates, thank you ang saya ng mga puyat nights natin nung skit at model-making. Gumagaan yung mga mahihirap na trabaho, andami natin laging tawa kahit na karamihan sa inyo eh na-meet ko lang talaga dahil sa Bio 120. Salamat sa mga libreng pagkain haha! Thank you din kay Prof. Mia Azanes, sorry po naiyak ako nung cnongratulate niyo ko sa pag-graduate ko haha!

To my second families, UP Gawad Kalinga-Los Banos and UP Cell Biological Society. Sa fun company, pati sa pag-intindi sa hindi ko pagiging visible last sem pero just the same, welcome pa rin ako every time. Thank youuu.

At sa ibang nakalimutan ko, thank youuuu! Ang saya ng last sem ko sa UPLB because of you all! I wouldn't be where I am now, kung di niyo ko pinagtyagaan. :) Legit na ang pag-post ko nitong grad photos! :)

Sablay 

Toga

Casual

Creative HAHAHA

The Limit of A

Last week was the hell-est of my hell weeks since I first set foot in this university. I got exams every single day of the week, scientific and reaction papers to be written, not to mention the lab class project of a cell model with protein sorting to do. My planner was a mess, full of deadlines to take note of. Being my very optimist normal self, I am still okay with all these. Until Thursday came.

With only an hour of sleep because I did two papers for my Cell Biology subject, I decided to have my brunch at Il Tazze, a quaint coffee shop in the confines of the campus and spend the remaining hours reviewing there until my Animal Physiology exam. After giving my orders at the bar, I opted for an outdoor seat for fresh air. Handouts in hand, I felt the pang of pressure of not being able to finish reviewing since it's already thirty minutes past ten in the morning and my exam is scheduled at exactly one o'clock in the afternoon. And since I am very good at delaying reviews, I started adding up my raw scores from exams and quizzes in another subject (since my professor uses a point accumulation system). It dawned on me that I cannot reach the cut-off for the finals exemption with the scores I gained throughout the semester. My spirits very low, I messaged Mama on Facebook. My message said:

"Ma, di ko alam kung ipapasa ko lahat ngayong sem. Ewan ko na."

Then I broke down. Maybe because I am so disappointed with myself, hurt, mad, name it. I am feeling everything. It's as if all of my life's frustrations consolidated into an atomic bomb and I am Hiroshima. What made this breakdown more challenging was that I can do it, however, discreetly. I am at a public place for heaven's sake and people are staring. So I hurriedly packed my things and went to the nearest comfort room. Thank goodness, no one is in. The comfort room is really a comfort room, this time.

It was 2007 that I entered University of the Philippines as a new freshman, which makes me one of those  "delayed" or "extended" students within the context of graduation. Ideally, I must have graduated one and a half years ago, probably with a job inclined with research now. That was part of the plan, I tell you. However, not all plans work out, so yeah, you know the drill.

Fast forward to Friday, I learned that I got exempted for the finals for the subject I was computing my raw scores for the past day. Then and there, realizations came rushing in. First, miracles happen when you least expect it. Second, like a rubber band, I am a person with limits. If I think I am way too stretched, I can always retreat to my original shape and rest. And third, I can repose but I must never quit.

With high hopes, unwavering faith and these things in mind, I know I can get what I want. I can and will graduate this semester. I'm claiming it.

Tick Tock

I am not used to me being this preoccupied and all; last time I checked it was when I had my first ever major breakup two summers ago. But since that day in the laboratory that we were presented with the deadlines of the remaining scientific papers, as well as oral report, paper defense and exam dates, that I came to acknowledge the presence of pressure; that pressure has already entered my system and that that pressure is inversely proportional to time. It's as if pressure took growth vitamins that it grew into a giant bean stalk ala Jack and Jill, hindering the me carrying a time bomb of some sort from getting to the other side, graduation.

Time is shedding its skin so fast that I am at a loss keeping track. I am wishing for this semester be extended but I know, we all know it'll never gonna be. And since I cannot bargain with time to slow down a bit, might as well do all I can, carry on and nail the days left.

I wish I can. I hope I can.

I don't want another heartbreak.

Please.