Thursday, February 28, 2013

Here Comes the Sun

Yesterday, it was exceptionally hot outside; the light's creeping through my window. If I were my normal self, I would've shut the blinds. I unlocked the sliding glass leaving the screen part of the window instead, letting the little breeze and the sunlight in. I was happy. The sun made me happy.

Later that afternoon, an old friend came over. We've known each other since he was seven and I was six.  He was my grade one classmate and through the years, we've became friends. You know, that comfortable friend, unlike the ones we get in Facebook. When he stepped into the room, the first words he uttered were  Andito ka lang? Di ka ba naiinip dito? and I answered him with a no and a laugh. I was perfectly fine with this kind of set-up: my laptop, my bed, some chips and me.

I'm too preoccupied with my own world these days, building walls whenever necessary cos I felt the need to do just like that. It's not that I'm scared or whatever. I just don't want any complications right now. Why complicate things if it can be simple as ABC, right? However, it dawned on me that I also need to let others in from time to time; may it be a thing, a person, a place, an experience. 

Maybe it'll make me happier, just like the sun.

P.S. My hair's getting longerrr! Yay! :)

Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Series-Addict Playlist

Random songs I've heard and come to like while watching The Vampire Diaries, Awkward, Suits, Gossip Girl, and The Carrie Diaries. I have this 8tracks account but I forgot the password, haha so yeah, I'll just be posting more entries of this kind here in the days to follow. Enjoy! :-)

1. Losing Your Memory by Ryan Star

2. Pictures of You by The Cure

3. Greenback Boogie by Ima Robot

4. New York by Snow Patrol

5. I Was Wrong by Sleeperstar

6. Skinny Love by Birdy

7. No Way Out by Rie Sinclair and Mike Suby

8. Movin Away by My Morning Jacket

9. Fell In Live Without You by Motion City Soundtrack

10. Time Go by Caught A Ghost

11. Sunset by The XX

12. Just A Silhouette by Ex Lovers

13. If You Were Here by Cary Brothers

14. I Don't Want Love by The Antlers

15. Drive by The Cars

A Talk With My Thirty-Year-Old Self

Hello, Alyssa. How have you been? Hmm. From the looks of it, I guess you're living a good life. I'm so happy for you. You now have what you needed and wanted back when you're little. Annual travels, a  yellow Cayman Porsche, a stable and interesting career, a happy home with a caring husband and adorable kids, Athena  Margarita and Brent Miguel. Wow, you're really serious when you wrote your future kids' names in your Psychology 1 project in college.

This Adobo is delicious. And the Red Velvet? Fantastic. So you're into cooking and baking now? That's great! Finally, you've conquered your fear of hot cooking oil spatters and sharp knives. You sure changed a lot; your black wavy locks became brown with curly bottoms, your jeans and shirt combo became pencil-cut skirt and blazer, your Keds became Charles and Keith. But your eyes, they haven't changed at all; they're still the pair of brown eyes, sparkling and full of life. And another thing that didn't change about you? You still love starting your day with a hot cup of coffee.

How's Mama? Papa? Ina and Ama? Masato? Ah, the old folks are living with you, I see. They're helping out on taking care of the kids. Masato is working and just got his own place in the city? Wow that punk really made it big. You became a good sister, Alyssa. I'm proud of you two sticking together during difficult days. Who knew you'd be that close as siblings? Back when you were both little, everyday is World War II at Desta, wrestling and shouting here and there. Haha those were the days.

Alyssa, you've been strong. Thank you for not giving up when things were tough. Thank you for not escaping when you thought you've had enough. Thank you for paddling when the waves were big. I know things weren't easy, but you endured all of it. Thank you for loving and trusting someone again despite having your heart shattered into pieces during college. Haha yes I still remember your very worn-out phase back then. You drank alcohol almost every day, partied almost every week, cursed the world and the people who made you feel that way. Sorry for that. I shouldn't have let you. But you got up and picked up your shit together. Yes, it took much of your time then, but it's worth it now right? You see, meeting the wrong people leads us closer to the right one. So now you have him, don't ever let him go. Cherish the life you're building together. He's not like those numerous heartless sonovabitches you've met before. And also, thank you for valuing your family like they're the most important in your life and not being jaded by the material things this world is full of. I hope you'll stay that way.

Alyssa, you're amazing. I just thought you should know. :)

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Frenemy (Part 1)

I stumbled upon this site and decided that since I'm not doing anything productive these past few days, I might as well have some decent conversation with this frenemy in my head; frenemy cos at times it's very convenient to have it around, however sometimes it's a pain in the a** trap.

  • How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? The way that I'm acting right now, maybe I'm nearing 18. A girl in a small town with big dreams wanting to be a woman in every sense of the word. Very thirsty for but quite unsure of life.
  • Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying, I guess? Though failure is a real bitch, it  anchors my feet on the ground. Failing at times gains you more, like, wanting to do good for something, challenging yourself, that sort of stuff. Never trying means I'm accepting defeat without a goddamn fight.
  • If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Experience. How can we know we don't like a thing if we haven't even tried it yet, right? And as for me, I wanna experience everything this world has to offer. So I'm not complaining whether life is short, I just have to savor everything and do all I can with the time given to me.
  • What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? People's hearts. If we could all be more compassionate, maybe this world would be a happier place to be in.
  • If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Making others rich, too.
  • Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Honestly, now, I'm settling for what I'm doing cos I don't have quite a choice. But one day, when I've gathered all I need and can confidently say I can, I will.
  • If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would bluntly express my love for my family and those dear to me. Cos right now, I'm not that vocal. And I would hold on to that one person that would make my knees weak and my heart flutter. After having my heart broken years ago, I always thought that love can wait, that I must steer away from the love path for the mean time and focus on what needs to be done for myself and my family. If the average human life span's 40 years, I would marry early and have a good life with my husband, children and grand kids. :)
  • To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Most of the time I'm out of control but I'm coping.
  • Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things.
  • You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do? I wouldn't respect and admire them in the first place if their mouths are full of criticisms. I would say something that I think I must say.
  • If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Stumble and fall, but always get up.
  • Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes.
  • Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Yes. I am a walking example. Ha ha!
  • What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Think?
  • How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? We are all entitled to our own happiness. And I respect that.
  • What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back? Helmet-diving, as of the time being, cos I have this fear of closed spaces.
  • Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Yes, memories. End of story.
  • If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Paris. It's full of charm.

  • Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No. And no.
  • Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton, enough said.
  • Why are you, you? I eat Indian mangoes with fish sauce with sugar. 
  • Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes, at times and I'm trying to be that kind all the time however resources don't permit at times.
  • Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a good friend who's just a step away.
  • What are you most grateful for? The chance to live.
Photo from I Can Read's Tumblr.

I've read somewhere that asking the right questions at times, is the answer. But it's always up to us, anyway. Oh whatever. XX

Monday, February 18, 2013

Love Drunk

While some people are busy preparing for their V day dates, I am on my way to Los Banos early in the morning just because (1) I need to sing Sulong CAS for clearance, (2) it's the UPLB Feb Fair season, and (3) dinner with blocmates. Whoever said V day isn't for singles, ha! :p To cut the story short, I wasn't able to accomplish number one but my two days in LB turned out way better than expected! These pictures are proof! :)

February 14
Had lunch with Nina at Black & Brew, then met up with brods, Paolo and Ivan. Roamed at the fair grounds until their 2:30pm classes.

Went to Tres (blocmates' apartment) and got surprised!  Thanks, Bea, Claire and Danica for the rose, letter and Kitkat, respectively! I love youuuuu! :*

Went to V Lounge Spa-Scissors Salon with Claire for some pampering. I love salons, I really do. It relaxes me, just like supermarket aisles and good food do.

Had dinner at Joe's with blocmates BCD plus Angelo. Met Joe's owners' adorable kids, Tasha and Alfred. ♥

Went to the Feb Fair grounds after dinner! Oh, UPLB!

Nina and I met up with an old friend at IC's Bar before calling it a night. :)

February 15
These past years, I wanna scrape February 15 off the calendar. Don't ask why. But this time, I'm glad I don't care about that thing of the past anymore. Time heals wounds, indeed. :)

Had dinner with the girls again at Tresto then roamed around Freedom Park for some Feb Fair vibes. I visited the booths of my two orgs and it's always good to see some familiar faces. Also, Silent Sanctuary added some more love in the air. I really liked the fact that they sang two of my favorites, Kundiman and Kismet. :)

It's so humbling and heartwarming to have witnessed love in its many forms the past two days. And though these times I choose to steer away from complicated love issues and have some good time alone, I am love drunk, made possible by the wonderful people I have in my life right now. Thanks for both the big and the little things, you made and continuously make me feel loved. May this sweet hangover never fade, ever.♥

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Some Good News

I woke up the earliest (in a month) today with no help from any alarm clock at all! Yay! Maybe the bad dream's to be blamed, eh? I was feeling a bit uneasy when I woke up but it faded away when I saw these:

Taho! It's been ages since I've eaten one! Behind it is my mushroom ketai holder. :)

After  about two weeks, I received the CN Blue package I ordered online. Joining a fan base is on my bucket list and it feels great to cross one out of the list! If you're constantly reading my blog, you know then that I'm a true blue CN Blue fan. And my bias is Yong Hwa. <3

My bedroom window
Also, I've learned that my mother's check-up results turned out good. The lump on her breast is non-cancerous/benign and I'm really, really thankful. It's been dreading my family and I for a while now and I'm just glad my mother's okay. She needs to undergo an operation to remove the lump so I don't think she can make it to my college graduation in April as planned, though. But it's alright. So to everyone who prayed for my mother, a big thanks from the bottom of my heart! ♥

Thursday, February 7, 2013


While having some heart-to-heart talk with friends over soju, I learned of this Japanese-American film entitled Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac. I remembered the title just today so it was just today also that I was able to watch it.  And a scene between a father and a daughter caught my attention. 

I can't help but trace my way back. I was that girl who needs those words then. I was that girl who thought she can never be happy cos she lost something important. I was that girl who thought she can't forget the pain the world made her feel. I was that girl who was so scared to face the aftermath.

But that was then and this is now. And I think, I surpassed that wave of pain and hurt and whatnot. I very well know that that isn't the last and no one knows when the waves are coming again but I know for a fact that I can conquer it. I did it before, I can do it again.

So if you are on a heartbreak warfare, know that it'll pass by. Before you know it, you're fine and laughing like there's no tomorrow while remembering how silly those crying out loud moments of yours were. You will find love again. :-)

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Ginger-head Love

I have known err listened to Ed Sheeran last last year, as far as I can remember. I stumbled upon his YouTube video of Drunk and actually liked it. And it led up to me searching for one song and then another. For me, he's Taylor Swift's male version.. and come to think of it, their hair colors are of the same hue. Ha ha ha sorry for being lame pointing it out. Anyway, I would just like to scream I'm a huge fan of his through this blog entry so yeah. Here's something to enjoy. :-)

0:01:00 Give Me Love 

0:11:37 Drunk 

0:15:38 Homeless 
0:21:24 UNI 
0:26:42 Grade 8 
0:31:50 Small Bump 
0:37:40 The City 
0:47:33 This 
0:54:07 Be My Husband 
1:04:26 Kiss Me 
1:10:55 Lego House 
1:16:11 A Team 
1:22:08 Chasing Cars 
1:28:06 You Need Me, I Don't Need You

My favorites are Give Me Love (heard it first in a TVD episode), UNI and Lego House. How about yours? Hope it made your day as much as it made mine. ♥


Monday, February 4, 2013

Of Fathers and Letters

You can never have it all, they say. And I believed them. Not because I'm gullible but because I know I don't. I may have normal kids my age don't possess and I'm really thankful for that, however, I don't have what normal kids have.. a father, in my own definition of it.

Don't be confused. I have a father. Yet I don't have one. And I'm not used to having him around. Maybe proximity is to be blamed. And language barrier, too. He needs to work far away, yes, I get it. But at times, I'm still a daughter who wants to feel she is secured, protected and loved by her father, just how most fathers normally do.

Then I stumbled upon this letter on my news feed. It was Jess Robredo's letter to his four-year old Aika in 1992.

All I can say is that I really envy Aika. But if my father can't do this kind of thing, well then I'll be the one to do it. :-)