Then

While having some heart-to-heart talk with friends over soju, I learned of this Japanese-American film entitled Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac. I remembered the title just today so it was just today also that I was able to watch it.  And a scene between a father and a daughter caught my attention. 

I can't help but trace my way back. I was that girl who needs those words then. I was that girl who thought she can never be happy cos she lost something important. I was that girl who thought she can't forget the pain the world made her feel. I was that girl who was so scared to face the aftermath.

But that was then and this is now. And I think, I surpassed that wave of pain and hurt and whatnot. I very well know that that isn't the last and no one knows when the waves are coming again but I know for a fact that I can conquer it. I did it before, I can do it again.

So if you are on a heartbreak warfare, know that it'll pass by. Before you know it, you're fine and laughing like there's no tomorrow while remembering how silly those crying out loud moments of yours were. You will find love again. :-)

Missing Innocence

I rummaged my way to my Multiply site, clicking the "Forgot password" tab a couple of times. Good thing I was able to recover my password. Seeing the once familiar faces in my photo albums, feeling the once familiar emotions in my blog entries, I can't help but trace my way back. There's always something in the past that is so tempting, like chocolates hidden beneath your bed.

That first out of town trip with friends. That first school party. That first night sleeping far away from home. That first concert you attended. That first crush. That first emotional breakdown. That first self pity.

Maybe what I'm missing is the innocence that comes with being young. The innocence of the people around me. And my innocence, as well. Often, I think of my innocence as a dandelion puff swaying in the breeze. I am the dandelion, and parts of me are withered as other people's breeze breathe through me.

And I just watch it float and fade away.