Sunday, September 18, 2011

Things change

Sounds cliche. Yes. It happens every day, round the clock. I know. We all know. Right. But however usual it is, I can’t seem to be used to it. Thoughts of everything and everyone changing, that, I can take; but when it’s actually happening to me, I can’t. But somehow, it passes for a while, lie-lowing, maybe. So misleading, making me think that hurray, I am finally used to it. Only one day, him appearing like a thunderbird of some sort. And just then I will find myself battling with my alter ego through my thoughts whether or not I have forgotten everything since that doomsday. Whether or not it is because that I have forgiven him or I am merely just used to the situation, hence the positive and civil response to him. Then the flashbacks.

Me? Thinking just about everything labeled as the past, our past. And then tapping myself that it’s nonsense and I need to stop. But it goes on and on, again and again. Echoing. Reverberating. Lurking in my mind’s deepest chambers. As if it’s eternal. Making me deaf. Making me write this stupid nonsense thing. Making me actually feel stupid and nonsense. And even writing this looks cliche to me now, too.