I'm twenty turning twenty-one and still in the process of deciphering my own self. Being in this age where you meet your invincible persona face-to-face doesn't help at all; wanting many things only to find out they can't be realized as of the moment for some reason you can't or don't want to understand. Frustrations pile up, blocking your vision of the other side; that side where it is smooth-sailing and calm, where dream is synonymous to reality.
Don't get me wrong. I'm enjoying my twenty year old free self. But at times, I feel like I'm standing on a fine line between maturity and naivety, each side having me pulled on opposite ends at the same time. And if I'm not feeling that way, I find myself losing interest in things, seeing dullness in everything, and just sitting there, watching my nonchalant life become more nonchalant than ever it was before.
My current self doesn't understand her own self. Maybe the "me" in my multiverses consolidated into the "me" dwelling in this body.
I hope not.
I have the exact feeling when I was turning twenty one but life pushed me to be mature because something should happen, Sam should happen. Though I admit I am not as mature as people expect me to be, I am trying. Don't be too hard on yourself, Alyssa. You are young and beautiful. Enjoy life as much as you can. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for the kind words, Ate Angel! Very much appreciated! :)
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